the daily thoughts of a lucky one (weekdays, with the occasional weekend, excepting holidays, mostly!)
Monday, March 31, 2014
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Spring
The magnolias are in bloom.
I'm drinking the first iced coffee of the season.
My gorgeous purple coat is in rotation most days.
It might be spring.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Juxtaposition
Isn't it funny, how you can already really know that something is true, and still it stings like crazy when you are reminded of it?
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Hard to Blog
My school is fine. The kids are great, the textbook is awful, my coteachers exist. It's all pretty fine. Other things are pretty awful, but I don't want to write about them on the internet. Other things are pretty damned awesome, but I don't want to write about them on the internet, either. The things I would be willing to write about are pretty mundane: I go to work, I do all my various extra lessons after work, I go to the chiropractor. My friends are lovely, we get together once or twice a week to eat and drink around a loud laughing table. The weather is warming up a bit, and many TV shows are incredible. I need to start waking up early and getting workouts in, but the current chilliness leaves me just under the motivation level. Sometimes I cook yummy dinners.
Mundanity and being busy.
It's important to work that it doesn't feel mundane. I feel a lot of emotions every day, and I enjoy the things that I'm dedicating myself to outside of work. Every weekend is a delightful escape from real-life that I cherish for the entire next week. I feel genuine happiness and acceptance with my friends. My students all seem to like me now. My life feels pretty good, given the unfulfilled-at-work proviso. But I sit down to write about it, and I have nothing. It's boring or it's too damned personal.
Sorry blog. I do still have lots to write about from that great trip I took back in January, though, so there is that.
Monday, March 24, 2014
Success
My new after school lesson, as well as my new Spanish club meetings, started today. I'd say they both went well. It feels good. I miss actually teaching. So if I have to seek it out elsewhere... that's fine, too.
I feel really good about today.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Hitting me Harder than I Expected
I suppose it's pretty silly to cry over an animal that most of the world considers to be a pest, but these little fluffies always manage to worm their way right into my heart.
Once I had the boys out on my bed and accidentally left the door open while I went to fix dinner. I heard a meow and ran to my bedroom, where Mandula was laying on her back while Smokey pulled fluff from her belly. Dexter was nowhere to be found, and I panicked, thinking that maybe he had been eaten. But there was no sign of a struggle, so I started to search for him. He was nowhere to be found. An hour or so later, he came strolling out of my pillow, where he had stretched himself thin between the pillow and the seam of the case, hiding so perfectly I didn't even notice him when I lifted the pillow to look underneath.
He was a survivor, my Dexter. I'll make a proper photo memorial soon. I just can't bear to do it now. Rest in peace, my little friend. I'm glad you're back together with your brother.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Nose to the Grindstone
I'm also doing some exchanges, which eat up a lot of time but have their own rewards. Add in chiropractic once a week to keep my back on the mend.
Next week I'll have my first Spanish Conversation Hour. I've been to these before, but now I am hosting a new one, in a new place on a new day. I'm a little bit nervous: I really hope that people actually show up. But a part of me also sort of hopes they don't: if I try to organize this stuff, and it just doesn't work out, then I'll have a bit more free time, and will still have tried to enrich my life and seek out society and hobbies, right?
My Coursera course is going really well. It's interesting, and my brain is sorting itself into a clever sort of a state. Which was the goal, more than any sort of objective learning. I need to see if this brain of mine can handle a bit of academia, because that is information I need to make better decisions about my future.
So my life is going pretty darn good right now. But, damn it, I am exhausted.
Monday, March 17, 2014
The Final Straw
I've tolerated having to teach my students how to have conversation with sentient fruit, how to organize a pajama party, and countless awkward or even just plain wrong phrases. Today, though, the book went too far.
The story was about "Don Quijote." Except he was an attractive young man and functioning member of society. Sancho Panza was thin and Dulcinea was young and beautiful. All Don Quijote did in this story was buy stuff.
WHAT THE HELL. Don Quijote is a classic story about a man apart from society, who sees the evil in the world and tries to battle it on an epic if delusional quest. He is a tragic character, because the world breaks him and he dies in misery, finally seeing the futility of fighting for justice in this real world. He is a triumphant character, because just as he loses faith, Sancho gains it through him. He is a fantastic literary character, centuries ahead of the time he was written. What he isn't is a pretty boy spending all his money buying illusory gifts for a beautiful girl.
What really gets me is they could have done this story with any characters, just a random man, his friend, and a woman. There was nothing quixotic about it. So why?
The book finally broke me. And yes, this post is somewhat dramatic license... but really. Come on.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Again?!
My classroom was broken into again. The tv was broken, the books were tossed off the shelves, and a table was disassembled and left in a pile in the middle of the floor. When I reassembled the table, I discovered that half of one table leg was missing. That's the most troubling part, to me. What are they going to do with half of a table leg?
On the plus side, my school has finally agreed to change the locks.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Temples in Taipei
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Happy Birthday, Little Blog!
Over the past year, I have written 218 blog posts. That averages out to one every 1.67 days. If you take away weekends, though, that's only 260 days, which means I have only missed blogging on 42 days, and have blogged every 1.19 days. Considering that I basically didn't blog for the month of August (20 days right there) while I was at home and at orientation, I'll call the whole thing a success.
I have had 5974 page views. Of those, only about 1000 probably came from me. Actually, my largest audience is in the USA, and South Korea (that's me, right there) is number two. Hungary, naturally, is number three (also probably me). Rounding out the top ten are: Vietnam (Juli?), Russia, Germany, Ukraine, the UK, Serbia, and France. I have to admit that I really have no idea who is reading this blog from most of those places.
If my readers would be willing to give a "hey!" in the comments, I would think it was cool to know who's here. Don't feel compelled, though. I've gotten a total of only 67 comments, the vast majority from my dad, so I usually feel like I'm throwing my words into the wind. I kind of like that, though. It's freeing, to feel anonymous, even when you know that you actually are not. It's also a good feeling to contemplate that I am writing, almost entirely, for myself. It's not great or significant writing, but it's still out there, and it's mine.
Anyway, that's enough statistics. I'm glad I have you, Little Blog. You give me a lot of catharsis, and I know that I will continue to enjoy revisiting the moments in my life through you. Here's to year two!
Monday, March 10, 2014
Vignettes
This weekend was exactly what I needed.
Sometimes I think that I should take up residence on a mountain top or secluded island. As long as I could bring wifi and my electronics. As long as I could bring someone to hold me. And cheese.
I found out this weekend that John thinks cheese, eaten straight, is too much. For the first time, I gaped at him, unable to wrap my mind around his (wrong) point of view.
I'm learning about behavioral economics. I'm not learning Korean. Both are pretty equally useless and simultaneously desperately necessary to my life right now.
Money goes flowing through my fingers. Must stop that.
Friday, March 7, 2014
My Deki
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Street Noodles in Taiwan
You took a little basket and a pair of tongs, and placed "representatives" of what you wanted into the basket. For example, if you wanted wood-ear mushrooms (which I definitely did!), you took one mushroom and put it into the basket. After you handed your basket in, they would add the appropriate weight or number of each item to the set. I got udon noodles, wood-ear mushrooms, other kinds of mushrooms, some sort of waxy green leaf, fish dumplings, broccoli, and cured pork.
They then cooked your goods in a little wire basket. I think this is the main area where different stands varied: they all had their own specialty cooking broth.
After being cooked, the dish was doused with a black sesame-based sauce and some spicy sauce to taste, along with seeds and green onions.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Olaf
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Hurt Back
Monday, March 3, 2014
My Half Birthday
As a result, I usually celebrate my half-birthday. I make a nice dinner, and invite all my friends out, and we have a party. It's a fun way to break up the monotony of the winter, and I get to feel like I'm celebrating my existence.
This year, though, with all the hubbub of the new school year starting, deskwarming, that freaking door on my classroom, and several of my friends and boyfriend moving away... I forgot about it. I totally forgot about my half birthday, and passed the day with nary a thought to my own mortality and special-snowflakeness. I woke up this morning and realized I should change my calendar to March, and then I noticed.
It sounds self-centered, I know, but it made me really sad. I forgot the made-up holiday I created to replace the real holiday that gets more-or-less forgotten every year. And, right now, I could use a bit of attention. I'm sad and a bit scared. I could use a hug and a bit of acknowledgement that I do exist and matter.