I'm back from the airport. I'm okay.
At the airport, I started to cry, relatively quietly but seemingly unable to stop. It wasn't that I was oh so sad, though I certainly was sad. It was just that I was overwhelmed with so many different emotions: sadness, happiness, hope, fear, nostalgia, love... really, it was a bit too much. So I cried, breaking my promise to myself that I would be cool. He promised me I was still cool.
We sat in a little false pagoda-thing in the airport and listened to people play music. It was like it was playing just for us. That didn't help with the tears.
But then he was gone, through the gate and headed back to the States. I turned around and walked out to the bus ranks and caught the next one back to Daejeon. I studied some Coursera on the way and read a bit. I came home, tidied up, and ate some dinner. I watched the season finale of Parks and Rec. It was back to real life. I may have not slept as well as normal, feeling all alone in my bed, clutching at Mo. But I felt okay.
I'm in love. For the first time in my life, I think that I might have found... somebody. And that is a big, terrifying monster. But it's also the softest, quietest little mouse. I can carry that around with me. Put it in my pocket and feel its warmth against my chest. And I'll have to take care of that mouse: feed it, keep it safe, pet it and nourish it. But there's nothing I'd rather do, really.
3 months, minus two days, and I'll be in the States. It's just a matter of time.
At the airport, I started to cry, relatively quietly but seemingly unable to stop. It wasn't that I was oh so sad, though I certainly was sad. It was just that I was overwhelmed with so many different emotions: sadness, happiness, hope, fear, nostalgia, love... really, it was a bit too much. So I cried, breaking my promise to myself that I would be cool. He promised me I was still cool.
We sat in a little false pagoda-thing in the airport and listened to people play music. It was like it was playing just for us. That didn't help with the tears.
But then he was gone, through the gate and headed back to the States. I turned around and walked out to the bus ranks and caught the next one back to Daejeon. I studied some Coursera on the way and read a bit. I came home, tidied up, and ate some dinner. I watched the season finale of Parks and Rec. It was back to real life. I may have not slept as well as normal, feeling all alone in my bed, clutching at Mo. But I felt okay.
I'm in love. For the first time in my life, I think that I might have found... somebody. And that is a big, terrifying monster. But it's also the softest, quietest little mouse. I can carry that around with me. Put it in my pocket and feel its warmth against my chest. And I'll have to take care of that mouse: feed it, keep it safe, pet it and nourish it. But there's nothing I'd rather do, really.
3 months, minus two days, and I'll be in the States. It's just a matter of time.
Mo is always there! I'm glad you found "somebody". You deserve that happiness.
ReplyDeleteThe time will zip by, you'll see.