Weary

Everything is starting to get to me a bit. I haven't been sleeping all that well. I actually have a lot of work to do, all of a sudden, because we're pretty much done with the books and camp is coming up. (Plus I have to do every lesson at least twice after I am told "Maybe it is impossible.") My schedule has changed, so I now have literally seven minutes in the cafeteria to eat.

Beyond that, Korea is getting to me. I've been getting a lot of staring and pointing recently,  with no real reason to explain the change. The other day I wore a dress with a somewhat low back. When I took my cardigan off, because it was over 90 degrees, I got hissed and yelled at. Two men asked me if I'm a prostitute, and an old lady poked my scar, hard. Being a visible minority is really starting to wear me down. I just want to go to the supermarket without someone either screaming at me or trying to touch my hair.

There have been a lot of non-work things happening at work, too. All of them I sit there for an hour plus, thinking about the work I could be getting done, while nobody talks to me. I just wish, if they're going to ignore me so totally, they would just leave me alone to work.

Beyond that, I'm still looking for a job. I'm doing all these interviews, but nothing is coming together, at least not yet. I don't love doing interviews; it always feels like I'm trying to sell myself, rather than my experience and qualifications. I know that's at least partially true, but I don't like the feeling.

John's still in California, and I think that's going well enough. It is very difficult though. I mean, we can talk and message, but it's difficult to feel romantically attached to someone that you can't touch or hug. I have to keep reminding myself that this is my boyfriend, whom I'll see again soon.

So, yeah. I'm just a bit tired.