Loneliness

I am a self-imposed loner.

What this means is that I choose to be alone, most of the time. Or, I choose to spend my time with only a few select people. I'm not much of a fan of clubs (though I do enjoy chatting at a bar) or large parties. Crowds make me nervous. I, generally and genuinely, am not interested in making new friends. This doesn't mean I'm unfriendly, but I don't feel the need to be social with everyone at work. I don't feel the need to talk to people at the gym. I must say that I do not understand the appeal of having 50 "friends" to keep in touch with beyond the Facebook level.

I do like meeting people, particularly while traveling, and then allowing ourselves to slip quietly out of each others' lives. My favorite way to be alone is while traveling, or in the middle of a city. Sometimes I put in my earphones and pretend to listen to music, so that I can walk through a busy or deserted square in silence. A pigeon near my foot, a couple in love on that bench, a fountain wrapped in plastic for the winter, and I together with myself.

I should feel lonely, I know. Sometimes I do.